1. |
Wikipedia Parents
01:59
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I thought I needed a break
I thought I needed a little bit of time to myself
To get my shit together
Get my thoughts back in order
Maybe clean my room
And the bathroom too
But then I double checked my bank account
And I went back to work
Sometimes I wish that my Dad was a doctor
Or maybe Mom was a lawyer
They both could be lawyers for billionaire tech bros
Or land developing assholes
Maybe I’d be an asshole too
But I could try to make a music career
Without paying rent
They could buy me a condo in the city
And with some luck they’d let me rent out the second room to somebody else
I wouldn’t tell my friends from art school that technically that makes me a landlord
Oh no
I know it’s hard to be an artist
And my parents tried their darnedest
To set me up for success but here I am
I’m just a heartbroken barista
With no appetite
And nowhere to live
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2. |
Hoarder
02:57
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Taking space is hard enough on its own
I make it hard on myself keeping all the shit around
In bags and boxes that I drag house to house
I can’t remember sleeping in a bed on my own
Call me a hoarder
Call me something way worse
I won’t deny it
Souvenirs from places and a life I can’t go back to
Promises we promised we’d try to keep
I can’t hold onto
Two hand painted wooden cats from the black market
Homemade sweater on a hanger in my closet
Boston airport beanie baby
And a copy of the Diners Drive Ins and Dives cookbook by Guy Fieri
There’s an envelope that lives in the bottom of a backpack with a couple dozen photographs
We’re smiling in them but now that makes me sad
I guess I’m hoping someday we could look back on em and laugh
Call me a hoarder
Call me something way worse
I wish you’d call me a little sweet potato again
Pet names and memories fade but not fast enough
And pieces linger behind
Out of sight almost out of mind
But all my friends still hang your art on their walls
So I mute our mutuals on Instagram crawls
It’s not that bad seeing you on the street when you’re all by yourself
When I’m all by myself sitting at home
I’m surrounded by you
I’m surrounded
It’s not like me to believe in anything
I can’t get my head around the thought someday I’ll find the strength to throw it all away
And even if I could
Would it matter much
Weight against the weight
I carry you inside
The ways I am
The things I do
With my fingertip I tap the tab on top of every can of beer I crack
Like the way you taught me to stop
the pressure building up
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3. |
Interlude (Really Feel)
01:20
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Feeling kinda weird and I don’t wanna tell you why
But keeping secrets makes me nauseous
And you can always tell when something’s wrong
When something’s wrong
When something’s wrong
Something’s wrong
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4. |
notmycircusnotmymonkeys
02:54
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Tapioca starch on my tongue
I’m feeling dehydrated
I don’t really like what you’ve done with the place
It isn’t any of my business anymore
I take it back
I’m trying my best to ignore it
Ibuprofen bottles and cups of coffee might get me on my feet
But nothing’s keeping me there
I remember floating like a feather
Nursing Blue Moon’s at the bar
But now I’m trying not to care so much about it
I don’t really fucking care at all about it
Saltwater Taffy tasting like medicine and cigarettes
But when it’s all that I’ve got
It gets harder to put my hunger pans in perspective
I don’t hope they give you a tattoo
Or hope that when they break up with you
You see it in the mirror every morning and you stop
To reflect on everything you were
But now you’re kinda not
I don’t hope you feel your stomach tangling up into knots
Or that getting it together has taken everything you got
Cause I don’t care
I don’t care at all anymore
I don’t care at all anymore
At all anymore
No, I don’t care
But if it doesn’t matter all that much to me anymore
Then how come I’m still laying in my bed all fucking afternoon
Staring at your number in my phone
Saying just delete it
Over and over again
Over and over again
Over and over again
Over and over again
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5. |
Budgey Buddy
02:06
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Well I haven’t felt quite alone as I’m usually used to
For a while now
And look, there’s no pressure
But it’s kinda cause you
And it’s not like January wasn’t hard
I got pretty manic at the start
I usually hide it
But I couldn’t fight it this time
So thanks for sticking around
If opening up’s not exactly your strong suit
I can go first
Hey bro, I love you
So make me a playlist
I’ll cook you a pork chop
You bake the bread
I’ll buy the wine and we can make plans to get horse girl tattoos
I’ll draw yours if you draw mine
Do not let me design a tattoo for you it will be very bad
So let’s get drunk
But not like too, too drunk
Not drunk enough to text an ex
But drunk enough to smoke some cigarettes
And get a little depressed
We can listen to the song about the summer storms
For crying out loud
What took such a long god damn time for me
To put it together and into place
And start leaning into all the ways that this really fucking works
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Indoor Kid Nova Scotia
transatlantic tweemo
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